Am I Blue?

Yes, Billie, I have been.  However, that is not always too bad.  Now is it?

Well, when one gets this message on their desktop from their calendar, 

then realises only in his dreams because school started six weeks late (Thanks, Ebola!).  Yes, not having a scheduled one-week holiday has the power to make one blue.  

Sometimes one must fight the blues with blue…berries.

There are many unmentionable acts one might or might not have to perform in order to afford the desired blueberries at the going rate in this town, but as Karen Walker once put it, “Old habits die hard.”  And these berries were well worth it!!!  These berries in particular were scrummy.  Then things got even better.  How much better?  Blueberry pancakes better!!!

Easy, easy recipe:

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon of sugar (I like to use brown cane sugar.  Have some cinnamon sugar prepared before hand, and add that.  You will be so happy you did.)

1 teaspoon baking powder (I am one of those people who can taste baking soda in food, even if it is added in a small quantity, and i really try to avoid using it.  A lot of pancake recipes call for it, but I promise these will be light and fluffy without it.)

1 pinch of salt.

Mix all dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl.

1 egg beaten

1 cup of plain yoghurt

¼ cup of milk

3 tablespoons of melted butter

1 teaspoon of vanilla

With a fork, beat together all the wet ingredients in a small mixing bowl.

Pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir.  DO NOT STIR TOO MUCH OR THE BATTER BECOMES TOO GUMMY!!!  I usually do about 30 stirs then I leave it alone.  You also want your batter to be a bit runny.  If it is thick and pasty, add a little more milk and gently mix it in.  You should be able to pour the batter into the frying pan.  While a spoon might help to transfer the better, it should not be essential.  However, the batter should not bee too runny.  

Fold in the blueberries.

Now, I was feeling nostalgic over the weekend so I did two things.  I poured the better to fill the entire bottom of the cast-iron skillet, just like Grandma used to do.  Let one side cook until bubbles begin to form, then flip it!  Cook on the other side for a minute or two; until the bottom gets golden o.

I also invited Strawberry Shortcake’s BFF from circa 1982, Blueberry Muffin, to join me for breakfast.  She came with Cheesecake.  It was real swell.  

A Few Odds and Ends: Hearty Pepper Soup with Homemade Buttermilk (Ok, Plain Yoghurt) Biscuits

I could not decide what I wanted for breakfast yesterday.  Many ideas went through my mind.  All I knew was that I wanted something rich in carbohydrates.  Yes, I am trying to get rid of my belly, and eating foods rich in carbs is the best way to do it, right?  Hmmm... Would it not be a better world if that were true?

Carbs.  Yes, so I decided to make buttermilk biscuits.  Huh, no buttermilk.  No problem.  Add four tablespoons of white vinegar (which I had) to one cup of whole milk and let sit for about 10 minutes=quasi-buttermilk.  No milk.  Huh?   Still no problem.  I have one more trick up my sleeve. You'll see below.

I have something to confess.  Before this weekend, I had never made biscuits from scratch before.  (Oh, and what I refer to as biscuits are not what are referred to as biscuits in the UK.  Biscuits, where I come from, are a type of bread that accompanies a meal, often be not necessarily breakfast.  Hmmm... I guess you might be able to compare them to a savoury scone--arms up to block my face; don't hit me.)  I had to do a Google search to find ideas for a recipe.  I say ideas for a recipe and not a recipe because I just gotta make it my own: partly because I cannot always find recommended ingredients in my kitchen or neighbourhood.  After gleaning ideas from a few sources, I came up with the following.  Oh, and I was out of milk, so a substitute was made based on an idea I gleaned from an amazing pancake recipe a couple of years ago.

Ingredients and method:

In a large mixing bowl, add:

2 cups of all purpose flour

1 tablespoon of baking powder

¾ teaspoon of salt

Stir together together.

Cut in 4 tablespoons (about 50g) of butter.

Make a well in the centre of the mixture.

Pour in 1 cup of plain yoghurt (YAY!!! This is the big gun I pull out when I do not have buttermilk!!!)

Stir until just mixed!!!  It will still be be wet and sticky.

Pour the mixture onto a floured counter top.  Roll the lump to just cover with flour.

Knead the dough about six times, not too much or the dough will become too chewy when cooked.

Then spread out to the desire thickness and cut.

Bake at 200 Celsius or around 375 Fahrenheit for 15 to 20 minutes.

Simple.

Good.

I had these with egg on Saturday, then on Sunday, I uses the leftovers with some homemade pepper soup as the starch.  No rice or garri.  Oh, and with this pepper soup, I made what I call a hearty pepper soup and added more vegetable.  I am just getting over being a bit under the weather and really needed some extra vitamins.  Just take your average pepper soup recipe and add some chunks of carrots, leeks, bell peppers, slices of okra and other vegetables you like.

However, it was so good!

Wednesday: A Headache Day

Oh, Wednesday was a day.  I have not posted in a few days because I have been a bit under the weather, and it took all my energy to do what had to be done during the day.  I'd come home from work and pretty much head to bed.  I had two 8:30 bedtimes this past week, and I kind of liked it.  Now back to:  oh, Wednesday was a day...

So I get a phone call from the driver who has been held up by some local area goons because of some kind of "basket" that is meant to be in the car and a sticker.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  He had no idea what they were talking about.  However, for around 50,000 naira we were able to get the car released, plus we got a whole stack of colourful plastic stickers and the cheapest-ass, not filled out certificate that looked like someone on hallucinogenic drugs designed.  However, we were not given a "basket", and I am still not sure what that is.

At the end of the day, my driver was complaining of a headache.  He'd had a very stressful day.  My neighbour, who was key in helping to sort the mess out with the car and the good was also in the car with us when the driver mentioned the headache.  He said, "Too much Nigeria gives you headache."  After he explained it was a line he remembered from the play, Fela!; he had seen the show in London.

A few minutes after getting into my apartment, there was a knock at my door.  It was my neighbour delivering to me his CD of the soundtrack to Fela!

He thought I'd be interested in hearing it, and I was.  I wanted to know if the line "Too much Nigeria gives you headache" was on the CD.  It was not.

I finally had a chance to listen to the CD today, and it is great. (I have listened to on more than twice today.)  It added a story to Fela's music that I was not aware of, and now that I have lived in Nigeria for more than one year, the lyrics to his songs meant something more to me.  I have had the opportunity to see and/or experience and/or listen to other people's stories about some of the situations that inspired Fela's lyrics.  I got out my hard drive with Best of the Black President and listened to it again today as well.  I think the first time I heard of Fela Kuti was when he died back in 1997.  I was at university then, and I am sure I must have seen it reported on the news.  I remember seeing posters for Fela! a few years ago in London, but I was not familiar with his music at all, and I was more interested in seeing Les Mis at that time.  I purchased Best of the Black President after reading Purple Hibiscus  by Chimamanda Ngozi Ndichi.  Fela's music was very important to some of the characters in that book, and I wanted to know why.  But after listening to the downloaded album then, I still did not get why Fela's music was so important.  After listening to his music again today, I think I get it now.

No, I did not hear "Too much Nigeria gives you headache" on the Fela! CD, but too much triggered one for my driver on Wednesday.  I guess it was appropriate as Wednesday coincidentally was Fela Kuti's birthday.  If I did the maths correctly, he would have been 76 years old.

My Present Favourite Pub Food

What comes to your mind when I mention pub food?  A slider?  Beef pie?  Snails?  If you answered snails, then you have probably lived in Nigeria at some point in your life.  I have grown to relish snails in pepper sauce/stew; it has become my pub food of choice—not only because they taste great, but they are low carb too!

There was no pubbin’ for me tonight.  Funds are low.  Plus, after a 12-hour work day all I could think of was coming home to roll out some homemade pasta to make ravioli.  I mean, it does not get more relaxing than cleaning up a kitchen dusted with flour.

My first thought was to fill the ravioli with suya, but my within-walking-distance-on-a-night-like-tonight guy was not around.  So I wondered down to the local liquor store/booze bar to buy snails.  Yes, this is the same booze bar that my very, very, very good friend got trashed one night on American Honey and practically fell into the ditch and had to be carried to a waiting car.  Just sayin’.  

As simple as it is, the little structure outside of this liquor bar has a reputation locally for producing excellent snails.  Now, I confess to have tried them from this particular place only twice.  The first time I can only say was good because they did not give me enough stew to satisfy my craving.  Tonight?  Well, let’s just say they scored more points.  I sat and waiting outside as the woman cooked up the stew, and my nostrils were very happy.

Yes, I may have cheated a little with this one.  I did not cook the snails.  I have never cooked snails.  When called a friend and told him I was making snail ravioli, the first thing he asked was, “How did you clean off the slime?”  I told him it was not problem; I licked it off. 

Before tonight, I had never made ravioli at home before, but I do have a hand-cranked pasta machine.  I used this simple and good recipe for the dough:

http://www.bhg.com/recipe/eggs/fresh-pasta-dough-for-ravioli/

Cranking pasta thought the machine is an excellent activity for exercise after the end of a long work day.  You get the best of stress relief world:  exercise that will result in carb therapy.  It is win-win.

I am going to be as humble as I can and say that the sauce I made to go on the ravioli was one of the best things I have put in my mouth in a long time:  a pesto-ish sauce made from garden egg leaves, curry leaves, olive oil, palm oil, sesame oil, salt, black pepper, onion, garlic and a splash of fish sauce.  I was initially a bit cautious about using the leaves because friend here warned me about using raw leaves in recipes.  But I read online that the Igbo eat garden egg leaves raw, and since everything on the internet is true (and there was no mention of parasites on the discussion board), I knew I was safe with this experiment. 

I wish I were better at describing how things taste.  My descriptive words to express the affirmative are pretty much limited to good, great, amazing and fabulous (and none of these really describes taste or flavor).   Some of my experiments in the kitchen come out ok.  Some are even pretty good.  But this one exceeded any expectation I might have had.  On the first bite, it was like my taste buds did a double take.  The flavours all worked together, better than well. 

After a long day, one that was albeit productive, I will go to bed very satisfied and happy.  Did I mention that a bottle of wine accompanied this experience?  I might not have made it to the pub tonight, but the wine bar followed me home.

I Love It When My Takeaway Fast Food Comes Wrapped in Leaves

As a boy from the south (cue Pistol Annies' song),  there are few foods I enjoy more than black-eyed peas.  Cook them in a pot with onions and bacon, call me over of supper, and you've got a friend for life.  In West Africa, I became enamoured with red red in Ghana (yes, enamoured; my love affairs with foods are much more successful than the ones I get involved in with humans), and in Nigeria, there are akara and moi moi.  Call me a polygamist.  What's not to like about moi moi?  It is made from black-eyed peas, AND wrapped in leaves to steam.  From matooke to luwombo to tamales, I like foods that are steamed in leaves.  Moi moi is usually steamed in leaves called ewe eran.  The photo above is some moi moi that I just bought out of the deli at a supermarket this evening because I did not feel like cooking.  To me, someone who is familiar with this Nigerian food item, it looks appetising, and I cannot imagine it looking offensive to someone unfamiliar with moi moi.

Now take a look at this  (wasn't I the one who just asked, "What's not to like about moi moi?):

Don't you just want to gobble down this congealed lump?  Doesn't it just look delicious or does it look like it just came from a cat food tin?  Supposedly this is also moi moi, apparently photographed by someone who hates moi moi.  This is the main photograph from the wikipedia entry for moin moin.  Why would someone post a photo like this?  Why is it still on Wikipedia?  How does one go about getting the photo updated?  My guess is that  someone does not want anyone who ever reads that article to ever have the desire to try what is there disgustingly described as 'steamed bean pudding'.

A Few Odds and Ends: Squid Two Ways

As life in the PHC is not the most happening, but I do not believe in being bored (thanks, Sharron and Don Holloway, my grandmother’s neighbours for umpteen years, for teaching me that philosophy in life) so I make Sunday a day do experiment in the kitchen. 

I spent much of my life not really liking food.  There are multiple reasons for this, I have realised.  One of the big reasons is I just did not like what others were cooking.  Thanks to my three-year stint in the Peace Corps, I learned to love foods and to experiment with the variety of food I can access at a given time.  I was on my own with no place to order in food from.  Most times it was me, a bag of charcoal, a simple stove and some ingredients I could get nearby.  It was my time in Hoima, Uganda that taught me to cherish a rich variety of fresh ingredients during the rainy season and to use my imagination and make magic out of dried bean, onions, tomatoes and dried herbs and spices during the dry season.  I learned to not be afraid of ingredients foreign to me and to look for new ways to adapt ‘traditional’ foods, the ways in which they are prepared and the combinations of ingredients.

Living in Port Harcourt, Nigeria has also been a wonderful opportunity to play around in the kitchen.  Let’s keep it real and just acknowledge that if you do no go to church, there is not a whole hell of a lot of activities one may engage in on a Sunday.  One of my favourite things to do in the whole wide world is to cook with friends, talk, drink and eat.   Sundays are my free days, and I often have my crew that will come over after church service.  Depending on whether they go to the early service or not, we have a breakfast crew or a brunch bunch.  Today it was brunch, and this is how we rolled.

Inspiration:  Nigerian pepper soup

Squid two ways:  in a soup and fried on the side

Ingredients

•        Squid left over in the refrigerator from a calamari feast a few nights back
•        3 pinches of salt
•        2 pinches of coarsely ground black pepper
•       6 cloves of garlic
•        ½ cup of coconut milk
•       6 Scotch bonnet peppers
•        2 medium red onions
•        ½ cup of red wine
•      Fresh ginger root, cut into large slices that can be removed after cooking
•     A splash of fish sauce
•       1 cup of water and six cups of boiling water
•       1 pack of rice noodles
•       1 cup corn meal
•       2 pinches of thyme
•       1 pinch of basil
•       Several fresh leaves of scent leaf if you are lucky enough to be in Nigeria.  If not, use some mint leaves or some extra fresh basil or other fresh herb leaves
•      olive oil
•       enough cooking oil in a cast iron pan to fry the calamari, maybe ½ inch

Here is how we did it

1. cut the squid into piece.  I like frying the rings from the head and using the tentacles for the soup, but it really does not matter.  The most important thing is to not overcook the squid or it becomes rubber
2.      put the squid into a mixing bowl
3.     add two pinches of salt, one pinch of black pepper,  and two cloves of garlic finely chopped, then mix everything together in the bowl with your clean hand
4.      let sit while you perform the next steps
5.      cut stems from the Scotch bonnet peppers
6.     quarter and peel the onions
7.      peel the remaining cloves of garlic
8.      place in blender
9.      add ½ cup of red wine
10.      blend until you have a good paste
11.     put olive oil on the bottom of a sauce pan, add paste and water, cover and cook over medium     heat for about 15 minutes
12.      stir in some thyme and basil.  If you are fortunate enough to be in Nigeria, break up some scent leave and add it at this time
13.    also add the ginger, two pinches of salt, one pinch of black pepper and fish sauce at this time
14.      add some olive oil to coat the bottom of large pot over medium heat
15.      when the oil begins to smoke, add some pieces of squid.  Cook for about two minutes.  Do not over cook!!! The squid will become rubber.
16.     pour the pepper stock from the sauce pan over your squid and continue cooking over low heat.  This is your soup.
17.      place one bundle of rice noodles in a large pot and pour boiling water on top.  Let sit for about five minutes, then rinse with cold water.
18.      put cold noodles in a large bowl, drizzle with sesame oil  and stir to prevent sticking
19.       put corn mean in a mixing bowl
20.       add one pinch of salt, one pinch of black pepper and one pinch of thyme to the corn meal
21.       dredge the remaining squid that has been soaking in the coconut milk in the corn meal
22.       heat cooking oil in cast iron pan; you can test heat of oil by dropping a pinch of corn mean in the pan.  It will bubble if the oil is hot enough.  Do not let the oil get too hot or it will burn the cornmeal crust before the calamari is cooked.
23.      add the coated squid to the frying pan; do not over load your pan
24.       cook squid (calamari) for no more than three minutes or it becomes rubber
25.      remove squid from oil and put on a plate with a paper towel on top to absorb excess oil
26.     put cooked noodles into a serving bowl
27.      spoon enough of the soup on top of the noodles to just cover the top of the noodles; some will peek just above the soup
28.      serve the cornmeal crusted calamari on the side.   You can use the soup as a dipping sauce!

Voila!

OMG!!!  I never imagined it took so many steps.  I hate such recipes.  Sorry, but it is really worth it.  Delicious!

Evidence:

My Sunday breakfast crew needs to reunite.  Seriously.

Next week, we shall refuel after the Truppr run!!!

The Response to the Missing Showerhead Does Not Become Him

Around 4:00 o’clock yesterday afternoon I continued the Whatsapp conversation initiated by the handyman of my apartment building.  Yeah, I guess it has creepily evolved to that.  I followed up on the showerhead that was removed from the master bedroom bath on Monday when a few small repairs were made. 

So the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back is a showerhead.  In addition to the shower problems I had been experiencing, I had no lights in my kitchen for more than two months.  We pay the management company somewhere in the neighbourhood of $1000 per month (crazy, I know, but it is what it is) on top of the rent to service the apartment so, really, going two months without having my kitchen lights repaired is completely unacceptable.  Sure, I could have found someone else or even done the work myself, but let’s not forget the $1000 per month they are being paid to take care of issues like this. 

After receiving the Whatsapp message from the handyman about the thrown-away showerhead, I called up the management company and had a real go at them.  Now, the term ‘real go’ is very relative.  My ‘real go’ did not include any screaming or f-bombs.  I think I might have told them that I considered their performance as a management company exceptionally ‘unprofessional’, and I am sure I used my favourite term:  ridiculous (and thought of Sibyl and Kelly).

When I got home, I was so frustrated that I called a good friend and gave him a real ear full about the day I was having.   And like someone who is emotionally unstable at a particular moment, I related all the problems I have been having in my life for the past year to the showerhead that was removed from my apartment on Monday.   

Then I felt really bad, embarrassed even.  I mean, I would like to think that I am above pitching a hissy fit (love the term, linked to hysteria) just because things do not happen according to my preference and/or my timing.  But I am not. 

As a result of my hysterical behaviour, however, before the night was done, my kitchen lights were repaired.   This was a result of my unbecoming behaviour.  I have always spoken to the people from the management company with courtesy and respect, and the jobs I needed done were left undone.  It is a shame that the way I got them done was to show my ass a little.